*happy thanksgiving!!

it's thanksgiving.
how can i not blog about things i'm thankful for on thanksgiving day? i can't!

tuesday at practice one of our coaches gave us "gratitude journals", she challenged us to take the time to write 5 things every night. it's sort of like the "happy book" i have, but it will be more day to day, instead of things that just make me happy in general. i'm actually really excited about it! i have 2 days done and can't wait to write in my 5 for tonight.

i love this time of the year! it's a time to take a step back and remember what you're grateful for and why your really here.

so here's a few things:

i'm grateful for my uvdt girls. they honestly mean so much to me and i am always so excited to see them and spend time with them. i've been taking a lot of games lately. one of the girls asked me why the other day, but i just blew it off like it was no big deal. the reality? i love to be able to help one of them out when they need it, plus it's one more day, one more hour, one more game, one more memory, that i get to have and cherish with them. some days at practice or at games can be miserable, but when i take a step back and look around, i remember how grateful i am to be there and to be there with those amazing girls.

i'm grateful for my mom. i don't know what i would do without her. but really. i couldn't do anything without her. i wouldn't be a functioning human being if it weren't for everything she has done, and continues to do for me. people wonder what i do in my spare time? i hang out with my mom! many times i feel like she's the only friend i have, and the only friend i know i'll always have.

i'm grateful for the ability i have to dance. i know i'm not the best dancer, i don't have the best technique, or the best tricks, or the best performance. but it's what i love to do. i love that i get to be inspired by it and that i also get to inspire and touch other peoples lives with what i do. it's the best part about it! and when i'm out on the floor performing i feel unstoppable. i wish that i had as much confidence in my every day life as i do when i'm out on the floor dancing.

i'm grateful for the studio i came from and all they taught me.
i'm grateful for cameras. life would be a disaster if i couldn't take pictures.
i'm grateful for the gospel. i may not know a lot, but i do know that it's true.
i'm grateful for art supplies.
i'm grateful for animals.
i'm grateful for all that i have, i've never had to worry about the next meal, clothes, a warm place to stay, water, if i would see the next day. i've always had plenty.
i'm grateful for fingernail polish.
i'm grateful for toothpaste and toothbrushes.
i'm grateful for heaters.
i'm grateful for people who can sing.
i'm grateful for quotes.

i'm grateful for my life. for the good and the bad. everything has been a blessing or a lesson. nothing goes to waste and i'm so grateful that i have made it through it all, stronger than before. during a trying phase of life, i might not be so willing to say i'm grateful, but looking back on everything i've endured i'm so happy to see the outcomes that have occurred because of it.

tell the people you love that you are thankful for them in your life! express your gratitude because you never know how long you will have what you have. life changes so quickly. so hold this moment fast, and live and love as hard as you know how, and make this moment last, because the best of times is now.

• happy thanksgiving lovelies! grateful for you!

Reality...

wow. I'm not here to say that I have it hard, because I really don't. but I've been really struggling lately.. and I want to share two things that have had a great impact on me today. 

They both speak for themselves, so I will leave you to take what you want from them. 

There's probably a better way to do this.. but I'm not sure how. a copy and past will work just fine:)

http://www.upworthy.com/2-people-described-the-same-person-to-a-forensic-artist-and-this-is-what-happene?g=2

http://www.lds.org/general-conference/2013/10/like-a-broken-vessel?lang=eng

These are definitely worth taking the time to watch. I know how much they have helped me. I can't say that things are miraculously going to be better overnight, but it's a step in understanding. and lucky for me- I know how much help and love I have surrounding me.

I also just got Demi's new book 'Staying Strong 365 Days a Year'. I'm very excited and am hopeful to what's next. "Hope is never lost."

Keep loving, keep fighting, and keep living. xoxo

so much joy

Growing up I've always had a love for animals. The only thing that I really knew how to love, and sometimes the only thing I know how to love. They are loyal, accepting, forgiving, and loving as long as they feel loved in return. My favorite tv channel growing up? Animal Planet. Every day. Every night. <3 My favorite show? Animal Cops. There were a variety of different animal cops shows and I still love them to this day. 

I have always wanted to help animals that were put in terrible situations, and last night I was lucky enough to get to go to a humane society for a date. We weren't there very long, but it definitely strengthened my want to home abused and neglected animals until they are ready to be put up for adoption. 

This love that I have for animals out beats any allergies and hives that come with the job. To be able to love and help these animals would be such an amazing experience and opportunity, and I hope that one day I will get the chance to do so.

With love...

With puppy love...

Sam :)

•my serendipity•

I have always had this "little secret". Something that I have done and have had my whole life.

Dancing and teammates. I don't know how I have been so lucky to be and have been a part of teams that get along so well. I have always felt at home without having to search for this place where I finally felt I belonged. I just did. I just do.. Even if it's only for a short time. 

Dancing has brought so much to my life in so many different aspects. I honestly don't know where I would be without it, and I never want to have to find out.

I miss Stars (The Dance Spot). I miss the girls, I miss the atmosphere. I constantly find myself looking back on the memories I have there and it breaks my heart that I no longer have that to call mine.. 

But now I have something else in place. I can't say it's better or worse, it's just different, and such a joy. The UVU Dance Team. I have grown so much being apart of this team, and I love it! I could be having the worst day, the worst week, but as soon as I get to practice I know that I am loved and cared for- it can turn anything around.

I am so grateful that I have had both of these as such a constant and big part of my life. We all need something to hold on to in such a crazy world, so why not a passion? Why not each other? 

{with love}

People are what matters.

My favorite Young Women's leader posted this as her status quite some time ago and I just happened to run into it again- 
 

"Did you know that are the strongest are usually the most sensitive? Did you know the people who exhibit the most kindness are the first to be mistreated? Did you know the one who takes care of others all the time are usually the ones who need it the most? Did you know the 3 hardest things to say are: I love you, I'm sorry, and Help me? Some- times just because a person looks happy, You have to look past their smile and see how much pain they are in."

People need people.

You are somebody to somebody.

Life is hard. So hard. That's when we realize that people really do matter. Sometimes all we can do is keep breathing until someone comes along and reminds us how strong we really are, and that we can make it through. Be that person for somebody else. Take the time to be there for those around you. I could talk about why, who, and how.. But I think these quotes will do us justice.

The quote on my calendar for this month says: To know even one life has breathed easier because you have lived.. This is to have succeeded. 

Why live if it's not to make each other's lives a little but easier?

"If nobody cared just a little for you, and nobody thought about me, and we all stood alone in the battle if life, what a dreary old world it would be. Life is sweet because of the friends we have made, and the things in common we share; we want to live on, not because if ourselves, but because of the people who care. It's giving and doing for somebody else- on that all life's splendor depends; the joy of the world, when you sum it all up, is found in the making if friends."

I have a friend who used to always say "I believe we we're put on this world to take care of each other." 

'...I believe that a relationship, any type if relationship is the most important thing. You can't really live without it, no one is really happy alone. You have to learn to let people into your life, to let them love you...' 

The capacity to care, I believe is one of the greatest things we have been given. The tricky part is learning how to use it. How to be okay with giving and showing emotion.. With being real. Everyone around you is fighting some sort of battle, and it's not always going to be right up in front of you. It may be your job to discover, or maybe it's your job to just be kinder than necessary.

"Maybe we are the way we are because of the people we're with or maybe we just pick the people we need. However it works, when you find each other you should never let go."

Find a hand to hold. Be a hand to hold. Everyone needs someone and that someone may be you. 

To the world you may be one person, but to one person you may be the world. 

Much love. xoxo

Stay Strong.

We all experience challenges in our lives, some tougher than others.. But we are never given something we couldn't handle. I have heard that in Heaven we chose things we would agree to have challenge us when came to earth, such as a disorder, a lifestyle, or a situation. The same young women's leader I mentioned in my other post, shared this with us when I was in young women's:

"When we were in heaven I don't think I raised my hand for this... I must have been swatting a fly."

I love this! It's so true! As we go through hardships we don't understand why we were given something so difficult and so terrible to live. But He is always there by our side if we are willing to let Him help us. He will never give us a trial that we can't survive, we are only given things to test us and to make us stronger. He also gives us the people we need to make it through, to lean on and have support from when we are at our weakest. So never give up hope. Keep loving, keep living, and keep breathing. Things will get better and one day everything will make sense.

Yep. I'm one of those people who truly believe that everything happens for a reason. 

Stay strong.

Ignorance is bliss ;

Everyone is under the impression that I have everything all together... That I am completely in control, I know what I want, who I am, where I want to go, calm, collected, put together.

The truth is, I still struggle. I often find myself in times of unexplainable sadness, anger, and dread. I find myself surrounded by people, yet feeling completely alone. Numb.

If someone asks me about it, I usually dismiss it with a wave of my hand and say, “I’m just in a weird mood; I’ll be fine.” Then I’ll smile, make a joke, and laugh until I’ve successfully convinced myself and everyone else that I’m fine. Ignorance is bliss, right? 

You see, I’m good at encouraging other people. That everything will work out the way it's supposed to; everything happens for a reason. We are who we are because that's how it's supposed to be. We are here to be real, not perfect. That we shouldn’t feel shameful, embarrassed, or guilty about what’s truly going on in our minds. That it’s okay to not be okay. But I’m bad at taking my own advice and applying these things in my own life—practicing what I preach, admitting that I might not be okay.

People have thought I’m being aloof, or not interested in sharing my thoughts with them. This is not true. The fact is that I’ve not shared my thoughts with them because I’m still not sure what my thoughts really are.  I still have a lot of conflicting feelings and I don’t like trying to explain things that even I don’t understand.